Ron's Requirements
by iamthepinkukulele
Summary: Ron and Hermione need something before they can proceed with their "plans", but unfortunately they are both ill-prepared. Who can save their night?


Hermione was an incredibly practical girl. She always did her homework before going out, she didn't splurge on expensive clothing when she could get something just as good at a thrift store, and she was always prepared for bruised knees and loose buttons. But this boy, this Ron, made her forget all of her sensibility and throw caution to the wind. Still, you would think she would have this one covered…

Ron sighed, and looked up at Hermione as she sat on her bed, surrounded by papers and books. "Hermione? Can't we take a break?"

Hermione squinted her eyes, and looked down at Ron who had very plainly been sitting on her dormitory floor reading the same page over and over again. "Ron, this test is very important. It's thirty percent of our potions grade, and you rather desperately need to pass it. If I want to be at the top of our class, I do as well." She returned to her comically large study book, with a furrowed brow.

Ron fell back onto the floor, and whined "I don't care I'm just so boooooored." Hermione didn't even look up. Ron smiled, as a devilish thought came to his head. "Hermione, you know, we could be studying for our other class…"

Hermione looked up, terror dancing in her eyes. "Class? What other class? We finished the rest of our homework earlier, I thought we were almost done!" She began to ramble.

"Hermione, Hermione, Hermione!" She stopped. He grinned. "Sex Ed?"

Hermione blushed. "Ronald, we don't even have Sex Ed at Hogwarts." She closed her book.

"I know, so I'd best be teaching you then, huh? I'm more of a hands-on teacher, I hope you don't mind…" He began to crawl over her, as she fell onto her back on the bed. They began kissing. Hermione pushed the papers off the top of the bed.

"Careful," Ron said between kisses, "Don't give yourself a paper cut."

"Oh shut-up." She smiled as he kissed her over and over again. He was always making her laugh when they were kissing, and even though she claimed to hate it, she secretly loved it.

Ron skillfully took off Hermiones gray sweater, then she grabbed his and pulled. They were now in full make-out mode. He started to unbutton her white button-up shirt, when she grabbed his hands.

"Ron," she said, almost breathless. "Do you have a condom?"

Ron looked confused "It's not like I just have them in my back pocket." Hermione bit her bottom lip, worried. "I had some in my room, but I think we used the last one a couple weeks ago…"

"Ugh!" Hermione slapped a pillow over her face in frustration.

Ron sat on the side of the bed. "You don't have any in here? Hermione, you're the girl who brought ten pencils to your owls! You don't have a condom?"

Hermione sat up. "Sorry! I've just been so busy lately I didn't even think of it."

"Right. Well then…" He started towards Hermione again.

"Well then we can't!" She pushed him away. "I refuse to become another teen mother statistic."

They sat in silence. They didn't want to just stop now, but they both knew that they needed to be safe about this. Mrs. Weasley wanted grandkids, but not from two unwed teenagers.

"Maybe you could ask Harry?" She said hopefully. "I mean, him and Ginny have been dating for a while…"

"Bloody Hell, Hermione! That's my sister!"

"Well, I don't know!"

Ron scratched his head, when it hit him. "I got it! Be right back…"

Ron got up and raced down the corridors, up to the seventh floor. He was going to do all he possibly could to make this night continue. But this one was sort of a long shot…

Heaving from exhaustion, Ron stood in front of a door, scrunched his eyes together and whispered "Please, oh please, oh please, oh please." He opened one eye, then quickly shut it again. "If you could just give me this one thing, this ONE time, I promise never to ask for anything ever again!"

Ron opened his eyes. Everything looked the same. He took a deep breath, and opened the door. Like a scene from Alice in Wonderland, there was a single table in the Room of Requirement. He ran towards it, and laughed. There sat, in golden plastic, a single condom. He picked it up and shoved it in his pocket. "Thank you thank you thank Merlin!" He yelled, and clasped his hands in praying position.

Then Ron looked down to see a note where the condom had been. He picked it up, perplexed. Oh. No.

_"Here you go, son! Be safe! This is my favorite kind, it's the one your Mum and I used while we were at Hogwarts. Heck, we still use 'em! Of course, who's to say how good they are, I mean, there is a reason we have so many kids! Make sure to protect your wand before entering her Chamber of Secrets! _

_Love, Dad."_

Condom from his dad? Parents having sex? Tons of kids? Suddenly, Ron didn't think he'd need the condom tonight…


End file.
